1.
RCB colours are inspired from shakthiman.
This is pretty obvious, they have the same stripes, base
colour and Vijay Mallya dresses up very similar to the mad scientist DR. Jackal (pronounced
jackaaalll, This guy used to say “power” at the drop of a hat). Rumour has it that
after the middle finger incident, Shakthiman landed next this Kholi fellow and
advised him not to do it again. This was followed by a penitent “sorry shakthimaan” from
Kholi. It is also said that Gayle is a suryavanshi and in his previous life,
meditated with shakthiman’s grampa in the forests of karadunga in Meluha. In time He found Meluha pretty
boring and moved to West Indies. In all fairness though,Indomitable that he is, I don’t think Gayle has seen meira
kumar smile, KXIP could’ve brought her along with Pretty and they’d be leading
the table now.
2.
Meira kumar’s scary
At a time when she’s running for presidential seat, this
would seem like paid news. No.... not really..... This woman..... she’s really scary.
I’m not exaggerating. I’ve watched her on LS TV.For those of you who have no idea
about LS TV; Lok sabha TV is a Doordharshan channel that captures the best
reality show in India, the Indian parliament, in its pristine beauty. Anyway, I
digress here; I shall proceed to the topic in discussion. Collect various mug
shots of her and make a slide show with these in movie maker. Use fade
out and fade in options only. Use a suitable soundtrack. A sound track with the wind
howling through trees should do. If you still think u have seen better, get
those shots where she’s smiling; the ones with her teeth showing. Evil dead
will be a tickle after this.
3.
Ghosts are sadistic
They are, they are. Apparently souls with unsatisfied
desires become ghosts. They torment people guys and girls alike. If you are a
hot babe, the lecherous ghost lets you run around in a bikini while it follows
with hands raised (similar to the ones in Scooby doo). Ghosts having low confidence levels
come over to kollywood and torment Raghava Lawrence. Ghosts are easily irritated
by scooby doo though, it’s analogous to a successful guy listening to someone
say “behind every successful man there’s a woman”;there's always a man behind every ghost.
There are some ghosts that seem to have a heart. But no! They are devious . They help a random middle class couple get together; get married. After this the ghosts hang/float around with other dudes with some popcorn and watch as the couple move into an apartment, have problems with apartment associations, apartment kids, their kids, school fees.etc. Insidious I say! And what is to be said if the female contracts cancer and the guy dies of a heart attack on being informed of it. Diabolic ghosts!
There are some ghosts that seem to have a heart. But no! They are devious . They help a random middle class couple get together; get married. After this the ghosts hang/float around with other dudes with some popcorn and watch as the couple move into an apartment, have problems with apartment associations, apartment kids, their kids, school fees.etc. Insidious I say! And what is to be said if the female contracts cancer and the guy dies of a heart attack on being informed of it. Diabolic ghosts!
4.
Jumping is the best solution:
Talking of death, jumping is the best method for suicide. Not jumping from 2nd or 3rd floor,jumping from
the skies. Why? I always base it on movie experiences, they reflect our society like no other
Action: Heroine consumes a lot of sleeping pills to abort a
bad marriage
Result: She is rescued by the hero or is saved by a well wisher after being rushed
into the ICU at top speed in a stretcher. The heroine actually likes this part;
imagine being pushed through the corridor at top speed..... weeeeeee
Action: Heroine walks along a railway track to smash into an
oncoming train.
Result: This is a tedious process. You have to keep walking
and the train, in most cases, never reaches you though the horn and the lights always
seem to be moving towards you. This situation can be best understood by imagining
the train to be a lazy cow, just mooing and grazing around the track, taking
two steps at a time. Eventually you get really pissed off and u walk back home.
If at all a train does come at you, some Random guy will jump in and die before
you or save you. Disappointing end, either way.
Action: Hanging
Result: This has a pretty good success rate but you do die
painfully and stand a chance of becoming a ghoul later.
JUMPING!
Take to the skies in a biplane (don’t go too high u might
die early due to pressure diff). Jump off at the right height without a chute;
perform acrobatic stunts, experience weightlessness, feel the adrenalin rush
and finally for the last 100m align your body head first like a homing missile and
BAM. You’ve got your death with heights of ecstasy. Brilliant?
The worst form of dying, as most would agree, would be
slipping in your bathroom and banging your head against random things.
Sad and nude.
5.
One sings really well in the bathroom:
This thought would have occurred at least once to a bathroom
singer. here's "why".
This is because the acoustics of the bathroom are designed in such a way that the reverberations and resonance produced in the bathroom gives your voice that ethereal, otherworldly feel. You can actually whistle the X files theme and make it sound pretty scary if you have access to a bathroom of the right size. The other thing that aid bathroom singers, especially the ones who find their calling in carnatic music is the temperature of water. If the water is very hot, u can touch high notes with real ease. During winters, you’d have such command over your ghamakhas that you’d think you have just achieved the pinnacle of proficiency . For rock addicts there’s nothing like a hand shower hose to transport one to the screaming stage.
This is because the acoustics of the bathroom are designed in such a way that the reverberations and resonance produced in the bathroom gives your voice that ethereal, otherworldly feel. You can actually whistle the X files theme and make it sound pretty scary if you have access to a bathroom of the right size. The other thing that aid bathroom singers, especially the ones who find their calling in carnatic music is the temperature of water. If the water is very hot, u can touch high notes with real ease. During winters, you’d have such command over your ghamakhas that you’d think you have just achieved the pinnacle of proficiency . For rock addicts there’s nothing like a hand shower hose to transport one to the screaming stage.
