Tuesday, November 7, 2017

cash-less

Listen, did you know that my thatha(thatha - grandpa; patti - grandma) was a free spirited young man in the good old days? He had his way with the women folk in town, who adored him. In fact, by the time I was born, he was done with two marriages and was back in the market for ‘love’. After a sustained period of bachelorhood, he managed to find the love of his life, forever, again (third time). He married her very quickly and very quietly in the presence of well-wishers.
The man and wife were decades apart in taste and age. The lady’s preferences were very different from thatha’s. Her daily spending drove him mad. “I’ll end up without a penny in my name” he thought (neither his name nor her’s was penny and he was sitting on a considerable fortune).  
Anyway, a few years back, when I was just a bumbling young lad, I decided to up my 'coolness' by getting myself a pair of sunglasses. I needed monetary support, immediately. Amma said no. Papa ignored me.
Not to be deterred easily, I walked up to thatha and pitched my case.
“Thatha I want a pair of sunglasses! You are cool. I want to be cool. Please give me money”
Thatha nodded, “take this card kutti(kiddo), Buy yourself a good pair”.
I skipped and jogged and cavorted right into the shop. “Bro, 1 Aviator parcel" (‘parcel’ is how we ask for take-away-food in Tamil Nadu).
Shop Bro: “Kasu?” (money?)
Me: “cardu” (card)
Shop Bro: “Kudu” (give)
      *Swipe*
      *scratches head*
      *swipes again*
      *scratches head again*
Shop bro: “your card is blocked bro….”
Me (also bro): "Is it?.. lemme check."
I felt cheated. I ran back to my thatha’ s place as fast as I could. “thatha thathaaaaaa.. card blocked”.
Thatha looked startled and closed his laptop abruptly. Stroking his beard back into place (neatly shaped goatee with a connoisseur mustache), he took the card from my outstretched hand.

“Oh! did I give you this one? This is my wife’s card. She was spending a lot on frivolous things da, so I blocked all Third patti transactions”