As an employee of a technical firm in the core sector, a person faces a lot of challenges, initially. There are many assumptions, thumb rules, screw rules, left hand clockwise rules, counter clock wise rules, codes, guides, provisions, exceptions and their revisions and finally the previous versions of the same document that ought to be referred before one can come to a conclusion on a given problem . As knowledge is both infinite and relative, everyone has an opinion on a given result. Generally the final output depends hugely on your ability to convince everyone that you are more or less right even though there might be some glitches here and there.
The English used here, as requested by the client, has been suitably modified to authentically represent an office environment.Special care has also been
taken NOT to capitalize appropriate words in an effort maintain the tone at an
informal level. The hierarchy of these
characters are apparent; hence, clarifications are not furnished. This will be
attached with the next revision of this post as an appendix if the client
insists.
Curtain rises
Enter A, B, PM
Project Manager: the client has asked for a
beverage that tastes well. You just prepare some document. Take two days and
don’t waste too much time on it. Ok??
A: what beverage??
PM: That’s easy.. You just look up
something and prepare some beverage and close the issue.. Don’t take much time.
See this is not that important ya... you just prepare some beverage na…
A: But .. sir…. Ok sir
I’ll do it
A solemnly walks back to his seat.
A(soliloquy): What do I prepare?? All I learnt was how
to boil water… and that too was not taught properly..
A: Hey B tell me ya what I should do.. this PM has
asked me to prepare one beverage within two days
B (looks up from his work): hmmm.. You
prepare something na… you follow all the standard procedures and do it..
A: what standard procedures…?
B:those are there in our library, you do one
thing, you make tea.. We already have back up calculations for all the
ingredients and you can always cross check
A: ok…
Exit A,B, PM
Enter A,B
A is working
B is also working
Both of them are seen checking mails
for forwards
A(soliloquy) :I find there are too many varieties
of tea. I don’t know what to do man.. i'm too bored now... Let me decide on
three roses. It offers Strength, taste and flavour, a factor of safety(FOS) of
three. Even if one of them fails I have the other two for back up.
Enter C
Narrator (in PM’s voice): this
C na?? he’s very strong. Very strong in his fundas . he
thinks also like he’s really good. He thinks like there’s some holy light
glowing behind his head.
C(from behind A and B):
Hey what are you doing re?
B: I’m doing some random work.. we’re not like you
sir, you will be doing some high level stuff and all.
C(silently relishing the compliment): No re.. not like that
and all… just time passing only… what is he doing?
B: he’s making tea… I think so…
C:tea? Nice..(turns) .How are you
boiling it ya?
A: 100 deg. For two minutes
C: two minutes a?? (looks around,
rolls his eyes) ok you do it .
A(slightly apprehensive of his procedure): why sir ?? it was
written in that book that you have to boil it na… if you add milk you might
have to boil it more maybe… but with water, it was written that it would be
sufficient
C:with milk you need more time??(all knowing
patronizing smile lights up his face)
A:I think so sir….. dunno…
C: ok you proceed
B(turns around and faces him):why sir what is the
procedure, batake tho jao
C: ok you first tell me ki why
you need to boil water in the first place..
A(enthusiastically): to get the essence out
of the tea leaves…(yes!!)
C: why can’t we boil milk directly?? We will still
get essence na….
A: but economically…..
C: what economically??
A: but it is quicker with water na??
C: what quicker?? I can make tea in two minutes…
A: dunno sir.. why??
B: but sir this boiling temperature changes with
altitude na??
A(impulsively):Arrey! what has this got to do with this??
Both of them look at A , no,
they stare at A
A shrivels under the gaze
C:Hmmm, A , you first you tell me what is boiling??
A:it is the process… by..
C: no no tell me the concept
A(feeling a little worthless by now):what concept sir?? I
just know it is a process of water becoming into water vapour due to transfer
of heat energy….. and
C:is it? Ok you tell me this What is
entropy of a system??
A: hmm randomness??
C: randomness?? Ok you do one thing, you
think about this thing.. I’ll tell you later… anyway, what tea are you using??
A : three roses
C:actually if you want to do it correctly
means we should use Tetly only for this, but then
it’s ok, this is small work only na??. Plus you also have factor of
safety so it should be alright with this.
Enter D
C: (abruptly gets up and walks towards D) hey sir
this masala dosa should not be this spicy, there is something
wrong with your assumptions.
D
:abee yarr its ok na. Client is happy, plus the
fundamentals are right na?? there is masala inside dosa..
that’s is all there is to it, hai ki nahi??
C: that’s correct sir, but there’s a small
deviation….
Both exit C & D ,
their voices fade out, discussing.
A(soliloquy) : oh man they are
discussing masal dosa, I’m still stuck with tea…
A: hey B how they are making
this masal dosa man??
B: that is all complex yaar, you don’t worry
about it now.
A: hey btw this “randomness” answer was
correct only no??
B: correct ya.. but he will not approve until you
say his answer in his exact words. That thing he keeps changing every time you
tell him a correct answer
A: ok tell me what to do now…
should I start looking up for Tetly tea??
B hey that is not even required for this …
he’ll just keep telling you something . you just make this. This is more
than sufficient…
A:ok…
A,B exit
Enter A,PM
A: Sir report.
PM: You’ve made tea?? I asked you to make
coffee na?
A: sir you said any beverage…
PM: oh. They had sent a mail two days back stating they
wanted coffee … ok you do one thing you just change it.. it is
simple only na… you just change it and give it to me.. we’ll send it
by tomorrow morning....
A: ok...
ROFL _/\_ C's representation is impeccable.. Awesome post da :D :D
ReplyDeleteThats why its best to do the most basic job and make your PM come back to you for modifications or additions i.e prepare just milk and send... cos tea cant be changed into coffee...
ReplyDelete