snore is temporary. sleep is permanent: The Zuckerberg Reactions

"Freinds, today we shall look at an alternate approach to determine gender.
At present, with the sports authorities all over the world feeling insecure about the participant's gender as soon as the presentation ceremony is over,this test assumes great significance.Most of these cases are athletics based;Female athletes turn out to be males. How? more importantly, why?. God knows why. Till now,thankfully,there have been no instance of a female taking drugs to compete in the men's 100m dash. Maybe male athleticism is not glamorous enough.

Anyway, this test is very similar to the salt analysis you carry out in your chemistry labs. Very procedural, very methodical. So,kindly read through the sheet I've given each one of you,very quietly, and ask any doubts you may have as and when they arise"

The Zuckerberg tests

Test for group A.

Take a picture of the specimen, post it in Facebook and wait for 5 to 10 minutes

Observation: If there are more than 25 likes, Group A

If Group A, proceed to confirmation test else proceed to step 2

Confirmation test: Count the number of likes, if there are more than 50 likes, really hot babe.Female confirmed.

If it lies between 25-50.Highly intelligent and really good looking Female.

Test for group B.

Take a picture of the same specimen in traditional attire, post it in Facebook and wait for 5 to 10 minutes. Test gives better results with full frame snaps.

Observation: If there are more than 25 likes & comments together, Group B

If Group B, proceed to confirmation test, else proceed to step 3

Confirmation test: Count the number of likes, if there are more than 20 likes: Female, looks good with makeup and has reasonable levels of intelligence

If there are 10-15 likes and about 5-10 comments that say, Pei, boodham, ghost, booth etc.. smart Female with reasonably good looks.

Test for group C.
Get a mug shot of the specimen’s face; Replace it as the DP of the specimen. Post status message: "I'll strip if NDA decide on their presidential candidate"
The Status message should vary according to reaction conditions. The general conditions should make favourable for a SN1 reaction; the first step should be a slow step and it should be totally dependent on the substrate concentration. Other examples of such reactions include Sachin's 100th 100, Sania's second round qualification etc.
Observation: If there are more than 25 likes & comments together, Group C
If Group C, proceed to confirmation test, else proceed to step 4
Confirmation test: Analyse comments under microscope,
If there are positive/ vulgar comments with more than 15 likes, Female with severe attention issues.
If there are 5-15 likes with 10 comments discussing topics like world politics, Chennai heat, TNEB power cut etc. Differently abled female face(being politically correct)

Test for group D.

If Test for group C yields a negative test, put Shakthi kapoor and the specimen in the same room.

Observation & confirmation :If Shakthi runs out, Test confirmed: Specimen is Male

If the specimen runs out, the test is inconclusive, proceed with DNA tests.

"So friends, you may ask me, what if the DNA tests comes out inconclusive? Then, the benefit of the doubt can be given to the batsman. Wait, wrong sport, Sorry. Anyway, if the tests are inconclusive, Pinki Pramanik Can retain her medal and live happily ever after.

Boys and girls,We have come to the end of today's class and I’ll leave u with this thought for today. This is what Thiruvalluvar wrote after watching the Epic, lock stock and two smoking barrels