Technical discussions.

As an employee of a technical firm in the core sector, a person faces a lot of challenges, initially. There are many assumptions, thumb rules, screw rules, left hand clockwise rules, counter clock wise rules, codes, guides, provisions, exceptions and  their revisions and finally the previous versions of the same document that ought to be referred before one can come to a conclusion on a given problem . As knowledge is both infinite and relative, everyone has an opinion on a given result. Generally the final output depends hugely on your ability to convince everyone that you are more or less right even though there might be some glitches here and there.

The English used here, as requested by the client, has been suitably modified to authentically represent an office environment.Special care has also been taken NOT to capitalize appropriate words in an effort maintain the tone at an informal level. The hierarchy of these characters are apparent; hence, clarifications are not furnished. This will be attached with the next revision of this post as an appendix if the client insists.

Curtain rises

Enter A, B, PM

Project Manager: the client has asked for a beverage that tastes well. You just prepare some document. Take two days and don’t waste too much time on it. Ok??

A: what beverage??

PM: That’s easy..  You just look up something and prepare some beverage and close the issue.. Don’t take much time. See this is not that important ya... you just prepare some beverage na…

A:  But .. sir…. Ok sir I’ll do it

A solemnly walks back to his seat.

A(soliloquy): What do I prepare?? All I learnt was how to boil water… and that too was not taught properly..

A: Hey B tell me ya what I should do.. this PM has asked me to prepare one beverage within two days

B (looks up from his work): hmmm..  You prepare something na… you follow all the standard procedures and do it..

A: what standard procedures…?

B:those are there in our library, you do one thing, you make tea.. We already have back up calculations for all the ingredients and you can always cross check

A: ok…

Exit A,B, PM

Enter A,B

A is working

B is also working

Both of them are seen checking mails for forwards

A(soliloquy) :I find there are too many varieties of tea. I don’t know what to do man.. i'm too bored now... Let me decide on three roses. It offers Strength, taste and flavour, a factor of safety(FOS) of three.  Even if one of them fails I have the other two for back up.

Enter C

Narrator (in PM’s voice): this C  na?? he’s very strong. Very strong in his fundas . he thinks also like he’s really good. He thinks like there’s some holy light glowing behind his head.

C(from behind A and B): Hey what are you doing re?

B: I’m doing some random work.. we’re not like you sir, you will be doing some high level stuff and all.

C(silently relishing the compliment): No re.. not like that and all… just time passing only… what is he doing?

B: he’s making tea… I think so…

C:tea? Nice..(turns) .How are you boiling it ya?

A: 100 deg. For two minutes

C: two minutes a??  (looks around, rolls his eyes) ok you do it .

A(slightly apprehensive of his procedure): why sir ?? it was written in that book that you have to boil it na… if you add milk you might have to boil it more maybe… but with water, it was written that it would be sufficient

C:with milk you need more time??(all knowing patronizing smile lights up his face)

A:I think so sir….. dunno…

C: ok you proceed

B(turns around and faces him):why sir what is the procedure, batake tho jao

C: ok you first tell me ki why you need to boil water in the first place..

A(enthusiastically): to get the essence out of the tea leaves…(yes!!)

C: why can’t we boil milk directly?? We will still get essence na….

A: but economically…..

C: what economically??

A: but it is quicker with water na??

C: what quicker?? I can make tea in two minutes…

A: dunno sir.. why??

B: but sir this boiling temperature changes with altitude na??

A(impulsively):Arrey! what has this got to do with this??

    Both of them look at A , no, they stare at A

   A shrivels under the gaze

C:Hmmm, A , you first you tell me what is boiling??

A:it is the process… by..

C: no no tell me the concept

A(feeling a little worthless by now):what concept sir?? I just know it is a process of water becoming into water vapour due to transfer of heat energy….. and

C:is it? Ok you tell me this What is entropy of a system??

A: hmm randomness??

C: randomness?? Ok you do one thing, you think about this thing.. I’ll tell you later… anyway, what tea are you using??

A : three roses

C:actually if you want to do it correctly means  we should use Tetly only for this, but then it’s ok, this is small work only na??. Plus you also have factor of safety so it should be alright with this.

Enter D

C: (abruptly gets up and walks towards D) hey sir this masala dosa should not be this spicy, there is something wrong with your assumptions.

D :abee yarr its ok na. Client is happy, plus the fundamentals are right na?? there is masala inside dosa.. that’s is all there is to it, hai ki nahi??

C: that’s correct sir, but there’s a small deviation….

Both exit C & D , their voices fade out, discussing.

A(soliloquy) : oh man they are discussing masal dosa, I’m still stuck with tea…

A: hey B how they are making this masal dosa man??

B: that is all complex yaar, you don’t worry about it now.

A: hey btw this “randomness” answer was correct only no??

B: correct ya.. but he will not approve until you say his answer in his exact words. That thing he keeps changing every time you tell him a correct answer

A: ok tell me what to do now… should I start looking up for Tetly tea??

B hey that is not even required for this … he’ll just keep telling you something . you just make this. This is more than sufficient…

A:ok…

A,B exit

Enter A,PM

A: Sir report.

PM: You’ve made tea?? I asked you to make coffee na?

A: sir you said any beverage…

PM: oh. They had sent a mail two days back stating they wanted coffee …  ok you do one thing you just change it.. it is simple only na… you just change it and give it to me.. we’ll send it by tomorrow morning....

A: ok...

Sincerely yours

In a busy office space filled with people rushing past each other to take a loo break, catch up with colleagues or just to show the world they can walk with their shoes clicking , a man with a small smile playing across his lips, was at his terminal doing his job. His name was Sincerity. This fellow was always found stooped, staring at his monitor, clicking away intermittently. He was there before time, much before time, as in, before clocks were invented. Next to his was Integrity’s cubicle. A man respected by all for his ability to precisely do those things that would be mentioned at the high places and with the right people.They used him as and when necessary. He was one of the few real friends of Sincerity. Both of them understood each other well and they complimented each other.
The laity was languid and laggard; they mocked these two, Sincerity in particular, to no end. But the two remained unperturbed and enjoyed each other's company. Both of them, unknown to each another, shared a deep love for Hope, the undeserving HOD's secretary. Hope looked as fresh as the morning dew.They could forget all the mundane problems before them in her beauty.Such was her charm that almost everyone had a crush on her at some point of time.

Sincerity and Integrity reported to Scarcity and Hierarchy.Scarcity, who was never found in his seat during a crisis, irked Integrity. He started hating the number of times he had to take the fall when something went wrong.He wrote many letters to Ambiguity, the quality manager.Nothing Happened. Driven to the edge, Integrity started contemplating a career change and even the thought of Hope refused to work the magic it used to. Sincerity, meanwhile, was fed up of Hierarchy and his many problems. Bureaucracy, Hierarchy’s good friend who kept hanging around without motive, didn't help matters. Sincerity,snubbed at every step, slowly moved away from any social interaction; the self assured  smile disappearing with his confidence. 

On a random Monday morning, Tawdry Tomfoolery (Only one in the organisation to have two names), the company’s pompous and under qualified HR decided he could do away with the rogue and recalcitrant Integrity. He relieved Integrity of his position the very same day and Integrity on his part was able to breathe easier; not being part of the dank organisation. At about the same time, Hope who was away on vacation, died in a train crash. There had been a signal malfunction and both the drivers wasted valuable time  comprehending the significance of the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sincerity having lost the love of his life and his good friend in quick succession was left stunned. He went into a shell. All his actions became mechanical and devoid of any vigour. He found companionship with Tardy, someone whom he had loathed in the past but had started admiring later for his twisted logic. With Hope gone and Tomfoolery pointlessly cackling away to Hierarchy’s jokes, Sincerity felt emotionally numb and the days trudged on somnolently. He understood that a replacement to Integrity was out of question.

The office atmosphere started choking him and he started hallucinating. He found himself talking to Hope, in long soliloquies. With Vacuity, a guy of high  qualification and zero common sense replacing Geriatry as the HOD, the going got really tough for Sincerity. His mental condition deteriorated. Sometimes, he had conversations with his high-school sweetheart Merry, who had died young; a victim of some rare illness.
After some days or months or years, for all Sincerity cared, sense prevailed over Vacuity. He decided he needed more men to tackle the mess. He made quick calls to the HR dept and pooled in a few resources from other offices. Few of the empty seats were filled with Sycophancy, Duplicity and Redundancy.The seat next to Sincerity remained empty (it had long stopped bothering him). He worked alone; from early in the morning to late in the night.

One fine day, things did change; a smiling face greeted him at his desk.

“Hello!”.

“Hi”.

 “I just joined today “.

”Oh! My name’s Sincerity”.

“Nice to meet you, I'm Profanity”.

“Fcuk!! Finally…where the hell have u been all this time?… welcome to the family”

Redundancy looked up from his desk, "who's Sincerity talking to today? the tone seems different".

the tele of thayir sadhams

Some time back, there was a rage about this tele called enge brahmanan in my community. As usual there were characters speaking in the most ridiculous tongue that they claimed, was very similar to the brahmin tamil .Still, I liked the spirit of this tele as the title verbalised my thoughts pretty accurately. In this world, it’s very difficult to place yourself based on dated practices and many a time people are confused as to what to and what not to drop from our vast traditional rituals.

It came as a surprise to me that this was being taken up at depth and analysed. But in due course I realised that it was very similar to other teles, heading towards the same dark, dank place in my heart. But this one was different in some ways. Its theme entailed even the kids to watch it as it was a ‘good thing’. “nalla vishayam naalu keta thappila” . The Brahmin group sessions had to touch upon this subject with such reverence that you forgot it was just another tele.In due course, it became a cult symbol; “naagalam rathiri aana enge bhramanan thavaradha pathuruvom”. The kids lapped it up because it gave them some respite from their mom’s constant glare. The viewing of this tele gave our class unparalleled pride and unfathomable punniyam (OK i just exaggerated a little there). Suddenly ''thangam" which occupied the minds of most mami janatha became cheap and tawdry; ramya started looking fat and the screenplay much more boring.

What was this phenomenon? What could possibly usurp the position held by a lady whose hot voice was so misplaced in her fat body that it was actually funny to watch her speak?  Well,structure wise, it’s very similar to the ramanujan serial aired a few years ago. The lead character goes around cracking everyone up in the process of finding the true Brahmin. He becomes more and more dazed and sleepy and his voice more husky as he gains valuable knowledge in this direction. comic relief was partly provided by the childish attempt at the ‘tambhram’ tongue and partly by the over inquisitive ‘doubt seeker’ (resembling an auto Walla) who kept asking questions after question like some bumper prize was waiting to be won.This guy also kept bobbing his head, much to the consternation of cho, who thought his head needed more air time.

As far as i'm concerned nothing good happened out of this laborious attempt in finding 'the true Brahmin'. All it did was give a fillip to the patronizing maamis who were already boasting about his son's zest in fulfilling the duties of a true brahmin.That her son did/performed/executed sandhyavandhanam daily and somehow that it was better than the other kid who knew only  his pariseshanam and abivadhaye and whose mom in turn claimed that he was still better than one who hasn’t got his poonal on yet .

In an average middle class home the sandhyavandhanam is did/performed/executed (whatever) after extensive negotiation, hard bargaining and veiled threats.The defeated boy generally ends up with a stainless steel ‘tumbler’ and spoon and a face that expresses all the sorrow in the world. So, while the kid goes about it with all the enthu of a rheumatic dog going for a walk, the maami’s spin stories on his son’s piety and faithfulness.
The irony is that people who follow the Vedas , who actually go to vedapatashalas and who have pony tails are still ridiculed and laughed at; sometimes by our own clan. They are lost in this world that finds no value for them. Hence some of them become the stereotypical money minded kurukkls,vadhiyars etc.Anyway, there was also a second edition to this; part deux .Poor lad, that had to go through the half asleep, wheezy voiced routine one more time. This time he had to include the dopey smile also as he was much more divine now,than in the previous edition.