snore is temporary. sleep is permanent

one @livetimefe on Twitter tweeted “what's stopping men from approaching women”

On an earlier occasion another female I know, had asked me the same question. Always weak with wit and spoken word, I shrugged the question off while another guy stepped in with his theory.

Again, like many other instances, I managed to formulate a response much much later...

Why?

Before I start off I would like to let you know here, that my “cogent analysis” of anything resembles a scatter graph on an excel sheet. Hence I’m going to refrain from “problem definition, problem analysis, problem solving, implementation and testing “

Also Indulging my lazy behind, I have decided to just pose questions, questions that seem to me, are relevant at some level to the broader problem. I’m just guessing here, but I’m also getting away with certain level of stupidity by framing it as questions… read on.

IS IT

• The General lack of treatment of men as men, not boys, women as women, not girls in the society when it comes to relationships, be it romantic or not? 

• The social taboo regarding puppy love rather than accepting the fact that it does exist and it is really just a phase and not a WMD? 

• The class differences, caste differences? Not everywhere probably, but subliminally expressed through snootiness? 

• A thing with the females brainwashed into believing that male advances are to be thwarted at all costs to maintain the family’s misplaced sense of ‘cultural acceptance’ (happens all the time, not exaggerating)? 

• The glorious case of rape culture in Indian cinema and society where a power struggle is always resolved through rape which in turn, fosters creeps? 

• The pathetic censor board, for the same reason as stated above? 

• The alpha male syndrome? The girl is expected to talk first, not the other way. 

• In its own small, tiny way, the huge taboo attached to cross cultural marriages, honour killings, the persecution of ‘love’ marriages etc. by the society in general? 

These are random questions… they are as valid as they are non sequitur and I’m just sounding out my own opinions on this. I’m as confused as I was when I started with this .
Some cities are culturally more evolved, some are less, and some seem to be evolved, on the surface. I probably have a vague sense of what I would tell my kids when they face the world at their time. But even then, I’m not sure, whether I would be ‘evolved’ enough to tackle their problems.

Just a small detour here… Earlier this week, I was reading this confession of a mass murderer. Apparently his biggest frustration in life was "not finding a girl to love him and not losing his virginity" on schedule. As I was reading it, there was a chilling realization that same guy, in India would have probably resorted to molesting/raping and once satisfied , would have probably been roaming around among us, continuing his dastardly acts.

It is also a pity really, that sexual violence was expressly allowed on cinema from times immemorial while a kiss, or a hug or any other open show of love was a taboo. I don’t support vulgarity, but a lot of things are not really vulgar, if you think about it… These expressions of love could have been celebrated all these years and we might have had a more tolerant & accommodating society now. I’m not saying, we would be devoid of creeps, I just believe the count might have been a little lesser and probably the interactions between the sexes would have been more comfortable.